about friday... black day...

friday... was in time for class but had to sacrifice lunch instead...

all went quite well.. went to kfc to ta pau my lunch during break time... n that was when it started...

i ordered takeaway.. while i was halfway up to 1st floor (kfc is in LG floor) i realised that i should hav stayed down there n eat... nvm then...

went to 2nd floor food court n bought a drink... on the way to college (3rd floor) suddenly realised that i had water in my bag.. and that i bought d water so i could eat at d food court... ok then i thought of eating in college... but realised that i can't eat in college.. i mean.. it's weird...

so what could i do? i walked down to my fren's workplace at ground floor... and asked to pinjam her place to eat lunch.. lucky her shop manager was ok with it...

while having lunch... nearly broke down... i realised i hav lost myself... my sense of purpose... my 依靠... my lunch buddy... i lost a lot... nobody was there for me.... i felt so... alone.........

i realised i lost more then a potential bf... i lost a good fren as well... i felt really lost........ i can easily cry when i recall stitch in one scene from "lilo and stitch".. d part where he read through 'ugly duckling' and chanced upon d word 'lost'... "lost... i'm LOST..." i feel for that scene.... i'm really lost... omigod... wat on earth happened to me...

why am i hurting so much? why can't i let go? why am i so lost without him?

these... i need these answers.... why.. why... WHY???

met him online today on msn... chatted like it was d old times... i feel my heart aching... he borrowed a mic fm his hsemate n was sending voice clips... everytime i hear his voice... my heart aches........

why am i so stupid? why can't i just let go? what is WRONG with me???

i'm alone... so alone..........................